


We Try To Wash The Pain Away

by mariothellama



Series: An Alpha-Beta Love Story [1]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alpha Marco, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Beta Erik, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heartbreak, In the Shower, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Omega Robert, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 10:00:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8528779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariothellama/pseuds/mariothellama
Summary: Marco has helped Robert through his heat, but doesn't want to be his mate. There is only one person who can come close to understanding the pain of loving Marco the way Robert does.A personal interpretation of one of the prior events referred to in Chapter Eight of Janie94's 'Breathe into Me'.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Janie94](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janie94/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Breathe Into Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7962757) by [Janie94](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janie94/pseuds/Janie94). 



> Dear Janie94,
> 
> This is what appeared in my head when I read Chapter Eight of your amazing 'Breathe Into Me'. So I went off and wrote Alpha Erik taking care of Omega Marco in the shower instead. But then I read Chapter Ten and just had to write it. I hope that I have been as faithful as possible to your wonderful Omega Robert, to the narrative of your story and to the timeline. I did go back and read through it again, but Robert and Marco have such a deeply complicated relationship that it is hard to capture in a few sentences.
> 
> General note: This purely my personal interpretation of prior events mentioned in Chapter Eight of the stunning 'Breathe into Me.' 
> 
> This was really painful to write as my heart was crying for Robert and I really wanted to punch Marco - even though I understand where he is coming from. And my poor Erik. In my head - and maybe I'll write it one day - Erik will find an exceptional Alpha who can love a Beta, one who is maybe not as bright and shiny as Marco, but every bit as beautiful. And anyone who knows me will know who this particular Erik ends up with!

Robert leaned his head against the cool tiles of the shower, the water thrumming down on his back. The hot water could wash away the sweat and dirt from his body, but not the pain searing through his soul. He was leaving, finally leaving. He was going to one of the best clubs in the world, finally fulfilling his dreams, above all finally fulfilling the dreams his late father had had for him, fulfilling all the promises he had made to him. But he would have stayed. He longed to be able to stay. For he was leaving him. In fact that was why he had to leave. He couldn’t stay here and burn for the Alpha he could never have.

Robert had wanted Marco from the first moment he saw him, had known that this was the Alpha he had been waiting for. And when his heat came, it was Marco who was there for him. And it had been wonderful. Marco had been everything Robert had craved for in an Alpha: passionate, loving, considerate, wanting everything to be perfect for Robert. The burning days of his heat had been among the happiest of Robert’s life. But he would have given anything to be able to tell Marco how he really felt, to confess that he loved him, that he wanted him as his mate, wanted him to claim him, mark him and stay with him forever. For Marco didn’t want that. He had only been there for Robert to help him through his heat.

If Marco’s feelings for Robert had only been those of a friend, maybe Robert could have coped with that. But the real problem was that Marco did have deeper feelings for Robert. Robert had sensed that during his heat. He saw it in the way that Marco had reacted to Mats when the Alpha had shown too much interest in him, literally growling at his friend when he heard that they had gone for dinner together. Robert had let Mats kiss him, but it could never be more than that, not while there was Marco.

Marco had even been jealous of the newest member of the team, Erik the baby Beta, saying that he came sniffing around Robert far too much. What Marco was too blind to see was that the Beta puppy was in love with Marco as well; that was what drew him to Robert - they both wanted the blonde, shimmering Alpha neither of them could have. And then Robert had learned the truth. It wasn’t that Marco didn’t want Robert. It was that he didn’t want a mate.

Robert could have stayed in Dortmund and lived with Marco not wanting him. But he couldn’t stay in Dortmund and live with the constant hope that Marco would change his mind one day, would be ready to take a mate and would choose Robert. That would destroy him. He had to move on with his life and his career. Maybe one day he would even find an Alpha who did want to share their life with him fully, to be with Robert in the way that he needed to be whole and healthy? And so he was leaving.

Robert felt hot tears pricking his eyelashes and he wasn’t ashamed. He had faced up to his pain and was doing something about it; he was leaving to protect himself. Then he heard soft, bare feet padding over the floor of the shower room. A warm, naked body pressed itself up against his back, arms wrapped round his chest, hot breath ghosted over his neck.

‘I’m sorry, Robert,’ the Beta breathed in his ear, ‘I know just how much it hurts to love him and not be able to be with him. He’s like a bright shining flame that lures us all in and then we burn with the pain of loving him.’

‘Thank you, Erik.’ And Robert meant that. It was good to share his pain with someone who understood.

‘But at least you have hope,’ Erik went on. ‘I am only a Beta. Marco would never look twice at me. Only an Omega can give him what he needs. And I believe that Marco really needs you, Robert. I believe that he will come back for you one day when he is ready. And he will always be there for you if you need him.’

‘That’s what hurts so much,’ Robert finally sobbed.

Erik said nothing, just held him close and tight under the running water of the shower, rocking him slightly to comfort him.

Robert could feel that Erik was hard against him. And it was difficult to tell under the shower, but he was pretty sure that his body was reacting to Erik’s obvious arousal.

Robert had the sudden realisation that he needed to feel something … someone … that wasn’t Marco. That he needed to try and blot out the glorious memory of Marco taking him during his heat. And Erik wasn't an Alpha, so it wouldn't be betraying his feelings for Marco, would it?

‘Please … please ...‘ one of them finally said, the need and rawness audible in their voice. They were never really sure which one of them it was.

Robert braced his hands against the tiled wall, spreading his legs to let Erik inside. Erik entered him surprisingly easily given that he was a Beta, thrusting in and out of him in a gentle steady rhythm. They weren’t making love to each other, they were making love to a memory and a dream of Marco, desperately trying to extinguish that flame forever. Erik came deep inside Robert as he stroked him to a climax that was quickly washed down the drain in a swirling pool of water. And it felt … well it felt … nice. Nice was good. But it wasn’t Marco. It wasn’t the burning passion and satisfaction he had felt in every cell of his body when he had Marco inside him, when it was Marco who made him come screaming his name and begging for more.

Robert never turned round. He never looked at Erik. He never kissed him. Once it was over, Erik pulled out of him quietly, holding him for a moment before kissing him softly on the back of the neck and walking away without saying a word.

And now the scalding hot water of the shower was not enough to wash away the lingering regret that had joined the searing pain in his soul.


End file.
